|Tales from the Eastside #1
I'm not much with
intros, but I'm going to give it a go with this one
is Patrick McGovern. You may recognize me from the Death
Valley Driver Video Review MB, where I posted CZW and NWA
Wildside TV reports. I've decided to export these reports
to here at Ichiban Puroresu, since I...don't like DVDVR
all that much. Simple as that. Mad props (yes, I'm white)
to Brandon for allowing me to post on his fine website
(yes, I'm a kiss ass).
those who are unfamiliar with my style of writing, it's
done with extensive play-by-play (like CRZ), with
additional commentary after the match. If enough people
e-mail me saying that I'm boring, I promise I'll change
my technique. :-)
what I want to do here is do an introduction to the shows
that I'll be reviewing. While I will primarily be
reviewing the TV shows I mentioned above, that won't be
all I'll be writing for the site. I'll also review any
notable Puro that I watch, and do columns occasionally.
move description is missing, it's because I can't recall
the details of the move currently, but I will update so
the profiles are accurate).
Combat Zone Wrestling TV
opinion, CZW gets a rather undeserved bad reputation as a
mindlessly violent backyard company. Despite the
incompetant marketing which is mainly targeted towards
bloodmarks and the like, CZW has lots of quality
wrestling to offer, mainly with its juniors. Anyway, I
figure I'll go over the roster, so there's no confusion
when I'm talking about people or move names. (Also, the
show is technically called 'Fake You TV', but I think
that's a fairly awful name, so I always refer to the show
as 'CZW TV').
Pain (CZW World Heavyweight Champion and CZW
Iron Man Champion)
CZW's franchise player and probably the best worker in
the promotion as well, Pain holds the top two singles
titles in the company. Works a mix of technical and power
styles, and I should note that I'm biased towards him.
Signature Moves: Pain Thriller (backwards head drop, kind
of like the Olympic Slam), overhead belly-to-belly
suplex, Tiger suplex, Blockbuster, Dragon Screw Legwhip,
Acid (CZW & "BJW" Junior
CZW's Junior ace, heavily pushed by the company although
his work is inconsistant. His personality is very Shawn
Michaels circa-1997, meaning lots of stalling and crowd
taunting. When he's 'on', he's very solid, but when he's
not, watch out. One half of the 'Backseat Boys' with
Johnny Kashmere. Oh, and the Big Japan Jr. title Acid
holds is questionable, as Winger is the holder of the BJW
recognized Jr. title, but CZW took the older belt and
claims Acid as its champion. Signature Moves: Stalling,
Yakuza Kick, Acid Bomb (reverse Crucifix Powerbomb),
Gage and Nate Hatred (CZW World Tag Team
Gage and Hatred, collectively known as the 'H8 Club', are
CZW's resident monster power team. Gage is surprisingly
agile, while Hatred is more in the vein of Vader
(obviously not as good). Gage's Signature Moves:
Chokeslam into a Backbreaker, Brainbuster, Frog Splash,
Rolling Elbow. Hatred's Signature Moves: Lariat, Fire
Thunder Driver, release German Suplex. H8 Club Signature
Moves: Double Shoulderblock, Double Lariat.
Trent's partner in crime is the more overlooked part of
the team, but arguably is more consistant and talented.
Has a natural heel charisma. Signature Moves:
Cradlebreaker (kind of like a Fisherman's
Shoulderbreaker), Yakuza Kick. Backseat Boys Signature
Moves: T-Gimmick (Double Crucifix Powerbomb), One-Hit
Wonder (Sideslam/Inverted DDT combo).
CZW's most over babyface is this XPW alum, who is
probably the only good thing to come out of that company.
He doesn't really play up the 'Messiah' gimmick and is
more of a lone wolf babyface. Signature Moves: Fall From
Grace (Burning Hammer), Godsmack (Fireman's Carry into
Stunner), Press Slam into Ace Crusher
"Sick" Nick is another one of CZW's top
babyfaces, one who has taken more crazy bumps than almost
anyone. He has some wrestling ability, but he's more
about highspots. Signature Moves: Assault Driver
(Iconoclasm done off his shoulders), Mondo Sledge
(Springboard Legdrop), delayed Fishermanbuster, M. Bison
(Double Stomp to the top of the head).
CZW's resident spot monkey. He's pretty large, although
he's lost quite a bit of weight recently. He's got some
amazing spots, but doesn't know how to put together a
meaningful match with them. Signature Moves: Sasuke
Special #2, 450 Splash, Leap of Faith (Moonsault
Legdrop), standing Shooting Star Press, Poetic Ruckus
Dahmer and Eddie Valentine
Collectively known as 'VD' (I know, I know...), these two
have a 'Respect Old School' gimmick. Previously faces,
but they did an effective heel turn when they lost the
CZW Tag Team titles to the H8 Club. Dahmer's Signature
Move: Saito Suplex. Valentine's Signature Moves: Shotei,
Ropewalk Elbowdrop. VD's Signature Moves: Doomsday
Device, doubleteam avalanche-style bulldog, double
One half of the Rachies tag team with Danny Rose, Flash
has moved up from being a midcard semi-comedy worker into
a main eventer. Flash is very over with the Ultraviolent
Mutants due to his willingness to dive off of ladders and
balconies with Legdrops. Signature Moves: Top-Rope
Legdrop, Move of the Month (second-rope faceslam, which
he gives a different name every month), running
Flash's tag team partner, very funny guy, but not so good
as a wrestler. The Rachies aren't really a full-time team
since Flash's singles push took off anyway. Signature
Moves: Tough Enough Driver (Cradle Piledriver), Doomsday
Device (Death Valley Driver), singing.
Probably CZW's best technical worker, Berk also has a
great personality. He worked as a comedy worker for some
time, but he's starting to get the exposure he deserves
(although he's still underpushed and underrated by many
fans). Signature Moves: Berkoset (Double-Underhook Last
Rites), Berk Driver, Oriental Scorpion (legbar with
bridging facelock), Chimera Suplex.
Nick Berk's Softcore Connection partner (although he's
only in that team part time). Very bad worker with lots
of comedy spots, because he can do little else. Signature
Move: Street Driver
Comedy worker, formerly a rather useless manager, but his
work has improved a lot in the past year (it had nowhere
to go but up anyway). Was previously a member of the
Softcore Connection but was kicked out, so now he's
feuding with Berk. Signature Moves: The Fluffer
(spinaround DDT); Toe Jam (second rope legdrop); Purple
Mushroom; Donkey Punch (fistdrop). Z-Barr has one more
signature move that I don't recall, and Jeff Strauch
tells me that it's the most groan-inducing sexual pun of
GQ and Chris Cash, two graduates of the CZW wrestling
school, team up as this cocky heel tandem. Neither have
impressed me very much, but they are over and have their
heel personas down. Cash's Signature Moves: 450 Splash,
Cash Flow. New School's Signature Moves: Double Figures
(double slingshot legdrop to victim in the Tree of Woe),
Six Figure Deal (double VanTerminator to victim in Tree
Knoxx and Chris Styles
Knoxx is another CZW wrestling school graduate, while
Styles is your basic indy worker. Both are thoroughly
decent, but they don't get that much TV time. Knoxx's
Signature Move: Senton Atomico Elbowdrop. Styles'
Signature Move: Stylesplex.
Kid and Ultraviolent Towel Boy
A pair of rookies that have bump like crazy, although
they're very green. They also don't get that much TV
CZW's representative in the Pennsylvania Athletic State
Commission (he makes that part of his gimmick), Rebel is
only a part-time worker, thankfully. Very mediocre and
boring, hasn't improved a bit since his days in early
ECW. Referred to as 'Rockin' Racist' by me because of
some offensive comments he made in the past, and an
insulting 'white power' gimmick he had in CZW in early
Previously, Wifebeater was one of CZW's major stars, but
an injury changed that and now he 'wrestles'
infrequently. As for his style...well, imagine
Leatherface or Shoji Nakimaki with even more of a
capacity to bleed. Definitely not someone I miss as a
full-time worker. Signature Moves: Bleeding, Chokebomb
Wifebeater's manager (and VD's former manager), a VERY
annoying blob. His interviews consist of incoherant
CZW's storyline owner and part-time a part time
'wrestler' (in the same way that Wifebeater is a
'wrestler'). Lobo's a decent mic worker, but his matches
mainly consist of bleeding and falling from high places.
Lobo suffered a potentially career-ending injury last
year, but he's since recovered enough to have a truly
horrible match with Zandig and he'll be having another
surely horrid match with Wifebeater this month. Signature
Moves: Limping, Death Valley Driver.
And we reach the bottom of the barrel. Zandig is CZW's
real owner, although in storylines he lost the company to
Lobo. He still runs in during nearly every show. Zandig
is responsible for nearly killing BJW, is a horrible
micworker, and as a wrestler...well, he mainly spends
matches hitting people with weapons and bleeding.
Signature Moves: Spiral Bomb, Rotating Lariat.
CZW's PBP man. Damn fine at his job, some don't like him
for his tendancy to call moves by their Japanese names
(it does come off as kind of smartypants at times), but
he does a good job of getting the matches and the
wrestlers over. Unlike...
CZW's Colour Commentator. Easily the worst colour man
this side of Mongo McMichael. Is totally unknowledgable
of the wrestlers, the moves, the angles, everything.
Embarassing to CZW, and painful to listen to.
should be noted that CZW brings in outsiders for nearly
every monthly show they run.
NWA Wildside TV
is best described as "Southern Style Wrestling With
Modern-Day Work", I guess. The angles are all very
Southern-style and could very well be booked by Jim
Cornette in his heyday. However, the workers are very
modern in their style, and Wildside presents a blend of
power wrestlers, juniors, and garbage brawlers. Wildside
bills itself as the 'alternative to Sports
Entertainment', which is fitting, as while Wildside is
heavily involved in angles, it's always about the
wrestling. They could work on having more clean finishes,
The storyline CEO of Wildside and manager of the monster
heel stable 'NWA Elite' is an awesome talker on the mic.
His rantings can be a bit overbearing at times, but when
he is confined to one or two talking segments on the
show, he's gold. He also serves to get the talent over,
not himself (although he is extremely over).
Wildside's actual owner and a foil to Jeff G. Bailey.
Only appears to make rulings for babyfaces and to
occasionally be beaten to a pulp by the NWA Elite.
Cross (as of the last Wildside TV show aired,
the Wildside Heavyweight Champion)
Cross is an interesting case. He's a tremendously
talented wrestler, a heavyweight who does cruiserweight
moves (much like Ruckus, although he's more fluid and is
much more skilled at putting together matches), a
wrestler with unlimited potential. He won the Wildside
Heavyweight Title from David Young and was booked for
CZW's 'Best of the Best' tournament. Then...he quit.
Retired. Claimed wrestling was 'getting too stressful'
and he disappeared. So I'd expect that on this week's TV,
there will be some mention of the title being vacated.
Signature Moves: Sheer Drop Brainbuster (affectionately
referred to by me as 'THE BEST BRAINBUSTER IN NORTH
AMERICA', which is true, as only Hashimoto's is better),
Shooting Star Legdrop, running Shooting Star Press, Last
Jones (Wildside Television Champion)
Comedy worker, yet he has the secondary belt in the
company. I'm not a big fan of his. He has a 'football
star' gimmick which normally leads to ranting mic work.
Has a valet named 'Destiny' who does a surprisingly
joyless cheerleader gimmick. Signature Moves: Monster
Blitz (Back Suplex into a Uranage), Point After Touchdown
(kick to the groin).
Lost Boys (Wildside Tag Team Champions)
Azrael and Gabriel together form the most successful team
in Wildside. They can be most closely compared to the
Hardys, except they have talent. :-) They have a vampire
gimmick, rarely speaking. The Lost Boys have a
Lucha-influenced style, with dives aplenty. Signature
Moves: Corkscrew Senton (Gabriel only), Unholy Roller
(avalanche-style hurricanrana/diving senton combo),
Fallen Arcadia (DVD/Powerbomb combo), Time Warp
(Sideslam/Powerbomb combo), double sitout powerbomb.
Lopez (Wildside Junior Heavyweight Champion)
Wildside's most technically acomplished wrestler and the
cocky Junior heavyweight champion. Lopez is an incredibly
fluid matworker, on par with some of the T2P guys. He
doesn't do that much aerial work, though. Was trained by
Dean Malenko. Signature Moves: Elevated DDT (Implant DDT
with the victim's arms crossed behind their back),
Wildside's top face, a worker in the Arn Anderson mold,
but he has considerable aerial skills as well. Has been
seen on NWA:TNA PPV recently, although I can't vouch for
the quality of his matches. Signature Moves: Spinebuster,
Young's former tag team partner. They had a bitter feud
and now seem to respect each other, with Michaels playing
more of a tweener role. Not a garbage worker but he won't
hesitate to bleed like a maniac. Signature Move: Double
Shot (facebuster, followed up immediately with a quick
neckbreaker in what's essentially one motion)..
Typical Southern Heel type, a good technical worker, not
as great as his (ex)partner Cross, but nonetheless very
fun to watch. Signature Moves: Frog Splash, top-rope
Wildside's monster heel is this 600-pound behemoth.
Obviously limited in the ring, but he's over and most of
the time he'll go out there to tell a story. He's
certainly not as bad as he could be. Signature Moves:
Ground Zero Splash, Avalanche, Top Rope Senton (he busts
this out once in a blue moon, it's as amazing as it
Wildside's most famous worker is also possibly the most
over man in the company. A tendancy to be spotty, but
otherwise is an excellent worker. Signature Moves: Styles
Clash (face first piledriver with the victim's arms
hooked behind Styles' legs), Shooting Styles Press,
Starmaker (Air Raid Crash).
Best described as the Mr. Pogo of Wildside, a
sickle-wielding lunatic that specializes in wild brawls.
Except Tank has the wierd habit of occasionally going
technical on you, pulling out moves you'd never expect
from him. One of Wildside's top faces. Signature Moves: F
Bomb (Emerald Frosion), Mafia Kick, release Northern
Another garbage brawler type, but not as accomplished at
wrestling as Tank is. Has a very annoying 'ticking time
bomb' gimmick. Signature Moves: Psycho Slam (spinning
sitout Uranage-cum-Bossman Slam), military press into
Wildside's dominent heel tag team. If the Lost Boys are
the Hardys with talent, then Blackout are the Gangstaz
with talent. Are able to nearly incite riots with their
heel work. Signature Moves: Spine Splitta(Sky-Hi; Rainman
only), Blue Thunder Bomb (Homicide only), Burning Lariat
(Homicide only), double lariat, double bulldog, Violator
2.0 (double sitout chokeslam), Violator 420 (double
military press into double sitout chokeslam).
Traditional underdog face, with some beautiful aerial
moves. He's added some matwork to his repertoire
recently. Seems to have a raver gimmick (his nickname is
the 'Original XTC') but it rarely comes into play. Is
currently feuding with Jeremy Lopez. Signature Moves:
Gravity Killer (Tornado DDT with extra height and
velocity), Full Nelson Camel Clutch.
Sexton and Tony Stradlin
Together known as 'TnT', these two underwent a recent
turn from fan-favourite faces to bitter heels, blaming
their recent lack of success on the fans (isn't that
always the way?). Both are graduates of Shawn Michaels'
wrestling academy, and possess highflying styles and an
affinity for the Superkick. Currently feuding with the
Lost Boys. Sexton's Signature Moves: Superkick,
Gamebreaker (suplex onto the ropes into an Implant DDT).
Stradlin's Signature Moves: Superkick, Tombstone
Piledriver. TNT Signature Moves: Spike Cradle Piledriver,
X-Bomb (double hiptoss into spike powerbomb), stereo
Low-ranking member of the NWA Elite. He trained The Rock
and tagged with him in USWA, but that doesn't necessarily
make him good. Has a 'Smart Heel' gimmick, which normally
leads to screwjob finishes.
Somewhat like a black Scott Steiner minus the roid rage
and incoherant micwork. Very over, he was pushed heavily
in the Spring but he's more of a midcarder now.
Occasional tag team partner of Caprice Coleman. Signature
Move: Blackout (spinaround Implant DDT).
High-flying face, in the vain of Scorpio. If he'd work on
his strikes (his kicks are pretty silly looking), he'd
definitely be one of Wildside's best workers. Currently
feuding with Cru Jones. Signature Moves: Thermal Shock
(press slam to Ace crusher).
Coleman's brother and occasional tag team partner, is
currently relegated to a 'love interest' angle with
While Mamaluke has a willingness to take sick bumps, he's
primarily a matworker, and an excellent one at that-
second only to Lopez in Wildside (notably, Mamaluke is a
student of the Malenko Dojo also). Signature Moves:
Sicilian Crab (high-angle single-leg crab), Fujiwara
Armbar, high-angle side suplex.
Previously known as Terry Knight, he recently found his
Italian roots and became the second member of the FBI
with Tony Mamaluke. Technically Knightonelli is pretty
good, but he's quite boring overall. Signature Move:
Formerly both Lazz (a transvestite) and Dustin Timberlake
(more of a basic babyface but had some of Lazz's,
err...'questionable' characteristics), That Guy has been
in a very long feud with Jeff G. Bailey and the NWA
Elite. Dustin lost a match at Hardcore Hell '02 (the
biggest show of the year for Wildside) to Adam Jacobs and
had to essentially sell himself off to Bailey as a
result. Bailey proceeded to strip Dustin of all his
dignity, forcing him to wrestle in plain black rookie
tights and to be called 'That Guy'. Signature Moves:
(Britney) Spear, repeated headbutts to the groin
(although he hasn't been allowed to do this since
becoming That Guy).
Kidcool and Kid Xtasy make up this goofy tag team. Kid
Xtasy was previously known as Sal del Rio, but he
recieved an X-Bomb onto the concrete from TnT which
caused him to revert to the Xtasy persona (actually his
original ring name when he entered Wildside). They do a
lot of comedy and are frequently jobber fodder, but
G-Rated are fun to watch at times. Together with Onyx
they're currently feuding with the FBI. Signature Moves:
The Right Stuff (Stack Superplex), double Side Russian
Legsweep, Tidal Wave.
Scott Cage and Mike Pittman together are The Rage, an
unexceptional but improving tag team. Like most of
Wildside's lowercard Junior talent, these two are very
young and have lots of untapped potential, but right now,
they're only average.
Jay Freeze and Brandon P are the members of this
undercard tag team, who are caught in a seemingly
unending feud with The Rage (Future Shock being the heels
in that feud). Brandon P is a pretty decent worker, but
Jay Freeze hasn't really shown me anything. Signature
Moves: Icebreaker (Gory Guerrero Driver; Freeze Only),
Aftershock (The victim is put in a hanging position by
Freeze and given a sliding dropkick by Brandon P, then
Freeze lifts the victim and gives them a powerbomb).
A relatively inexperienced (he's only sixteen or
seventeen years old) Junior, but one who is extremely
entertaining. As his name suggests, he has an Eminem
gimmick, but it's played up well. Signature Moves:
Fishermanbuster (several variations), 420 Splash (Phoenix
Splash), 3-6 Mafia Kick (Spinning Heel Kick off the
Another junior heavyweight rookie, Jeremy doesn't have
much of a gimmick: He comes out to 'Jeremy' by Pearl Jam
and looks kind of like a grunge rock fan circa 1994, but
that's about it. Okay little worker, has definite flaws
but is also improving. Currently feuding with Slim J.
Signature Move: Derrick Driver.
Occasional partner of Jeremy V and G-Rated, Driver rarely
wins in Wildside. Probably the greenest out of the
Juniors, and the least exciting.
Harden is probably the only outright jobber in Wildside
(he's mockingly nicknamed 'The Winner'). Currently
feuding with That Guy in Jeff G. Bailey's latest attempt
to humiliate Dustin. Signature Move: Losing.
Cru Jones' manager and the money mark (sorry,
"financial consultant") that helped Bailey get
ownership of Wildside. Pretty funny, but he's been MIA
Wildside's PBP man. Very good at getting wrestlers and
storylines over, also very knowledgable when it comes to
move names. Kind of like the anti-Jim Ross. Also handles
ring introductions and in-ring interviews.
Wildside's Colour Commentator. Kind of goofy at times,
but he's also pretty funny. You might remember him as one
of the ECW interviewers from back in the day.
that's about it. Hope you enjoyed reading this, and that
you'll enjoy my future columns/TV reports.
I (heart) feedback; send any thoughts, complaints, death
threats or illegal solicitations to A Useful firstname.lastname@example.org [lowercase L in
"ldiot"], and I'm on AIM pretty frequently under