Tales from the Eastside Directory

NWA Wildside TV (Episode #189)

Tales From the Eastside by Patrick McGovern

-Already fairly late with this one...so let's just get to it.

-We open to see the Chosen Executive One, Rick Michaels, at the entrance to the NCW Arena. Future Shock (Brandon P with his arm in a sling) enter and Michaels greets them, talking about how they're champions and champions are supposed to, y'know, defend their titles. He says that they have thirty days to defend their belts, but since they took the easy way out and made their match with the Impact a nontitle match those thirty days are up and tonight they have to defend against the Lost Boys. Freeze protests about P's busted shoulder, but Michaels doesn't care. He says that Future Shock have two choices: Defend their belts or give them to him. Michaels walks off while Freeze gets angry; you can tell he's angry because he just got bleeped!

-WHOA a tracking shot- Stanley Kubrick has come back from the dead and is filming NWA Wildside TV! We follow Michaels as he walks to his office, where he finds Salvatore Rinauro (with his belt over one shoulder and his ROY trophy over the other) chatting away on the phone. Michaels says something he's all-too-familar saying around Sal ("What the HELLLLL are you doin'?") and Rinauro starts protesting about respect. Michaels says he'll give him some respect. "So, what's that move you do, the Phoenix Fury..." "Yeah, the Phoenix Fury Legdrop!" Michaels says that's the move that started all of Jeremy V's neck problems, so Sal's never, ever allowed to do that move in Wildside again or else he'll be stripped of his Jr. title and fired. "I didn't tell him to get in the ring, HE's the idiot that kept gettin' in the ring! THAT'S MY FINISHER!" "This is also your finisher. Get outta my office." Rinauro walks off while thinking aloud. "I'll find something to do tonight..."

-Wildside intro. Pretend I wrote something amusing here.

-Dan Wilson welcomes us for episode #189, and he's joined by special guest Scott Hudson since Steven Prazak is off getting a tan in the Bahamas. We talk about last week and the David Young/Hotstuff Hernandez match, and the upshot is we STILL don't have a number one contender. The sound keeps dropping out on the commentary over last week's clips, hmm. WGTW stupidity or a production slip? Hudson goes over what we're gonna see this week: Onyx and Hernandez team up, and in the main event the NWA Elite team of Jason Cross and Rainman take on Jimmy Rave and a returning Jeremy V! What's that, Dan? "DON'T GO ANYWHERE!"

-Little Willy vs. Salvatore Rinauro for the Wildside Junior Heavyweight championship (Third Defense). Willy is some really tiny guy in a mask, and my best guess is he's somehow a TWA guy. JIP, Rinauro bodyslamming Willy and he's heading upstairs. Rinauro measures Willy, and then he flies off with a beautiful elbowdrop! Rinauro leans back and pins the shoulders, but Willy somehow kicks out in time. Rinauro to the apron and he springboards back in with a clothesline, which earns him another nearfall. Looks like it's almost over, as Rinauro hooks Willy in the pumphandle- going for the Phoenix Fury Legdrop but referee Speedy Nelson has to stop him since that move's illegal and all. Sal takes umbrage with this, giving Willy a chance to spin him around and land a gutshot. Front facelock by Willy and he takes Rinauro over with a snap suplex, there's a second, he rolls through again and completes the trifecta with a Falcon Arrow! Cover by Willy, one, two, Rinauro kicks out in time. Maybe if he didn't hook the leg he'd have gotten the three. Willy thinks that Speedy's count wasn't so speedy and lets him hear about it. Willy with the facelock on Rinauro again, perhaps going for the rolling suplexes again but Rinauro blocks it with a gutshot, hits a kneeling facebuster and follows that immediately with a quick neckbreaker...hey, that's the Double Shot! Rinauro covers and Rick Michaels' old move has gained him a victory (4:18- 2:00 aired). Sal is AWESOME but we already knew that, didn't we?

-Is Duthty Rhodes' morbidly obese visage supposed to make me wanna buy TNA on PPV or something? They might wanna try a new marketing strategy (one that starts with not airing clips from angles from several months ago like they're fresh news).

-The Impact vs. Murder One and One Man Posse. Scott Cage and One start us off. Collar-and-elbow tieup, but One has had enough of this wrasslin' business and he wastes no time clubbing Cage down with forearms. Cage is pulled to his feet and nailed with some rights, then One sends him into the ropes, right into the path of a Blazing lariat. Cage heads for the ropes but they're not gonna help him as One lays in some stomps. One baits Kaos, drawing ref Andrew Thomas' attention away so One can slam him and apply a rather blatant choke. More rights are thrown and Cage is sent head-first into the turnbuckle; it's been all One so far. One with a stomp or five in the corner, then a cross-corner whip allows him to sprint in with a baseball slide dropkick to Cage's groinal area. Snapmare by One and he covers, but only a two count. Bodyslam by One and he tags in Posse. The Posse charges at Cage, but Cage sees it coming and meets him with a drop toehold. Tag to Kaos and the Impact send Posse into the ropes so they can throw him with a double hiptoss. Rights by Kaos and he whips Posse into a big clothesline. High legdrop by Kaos and he covers, one, two, One makes the save. Wildside Continues... We're back and Kaos tags Cage back in. Whip by Cage and he telegraphs the backdrop (hey, the heels are supposed to do that!) and Posse takes him over with the sunset flip, but Cage grabs the bottom rope (almost missed by Thomas). Tag to Kaos and Impact give Posse a double suplex, which nets Kaos a two count. On the outside, we see why One didn't make the save on that pin attempt: He was too busy lighting up his "Philly Cheese-blunt" (thanks, Scott). Back in the ring and Cage is again the legal man, clubbing away on Posse until he's nailed low. Posse tosses Cage into the corner and One approaches him with the smokin' blunt; funny moment as Thomas catches a whiff of the blunt here and gives a great facial expression. Anyway, One's fixin' to jam the fatty into Cage's eye but Jeff Lewis (with his eye bandaged up) sprints out and pounds on One for the DQ (4:53, 69). The Dark City soljas bail from the ring and head up the ramp, One puffing that green smoke all over the place and right into the camera. Wilson: "And I can tell you that's not tobacco in that cigar! In fact I...I think I'm gettin' a contact..." "You alright, Dragon?" "Yeah! Heh heh, more Wildside after this, hehehheh!" Match wasn't anything that worthwhile but I'm really liking One's heel work as of late.

-There's an odd camera angle pointing at the rampway. "Oops...I Did It Again" starts playing over the speakers and everyone knows what's coming- welcome back, Lazz. Clad in a pink "Idol" shirt, Lazz gets a pretty big reaction and spends roughly seven years gyrating on the guardrails at ringside. Hey Lazz, Chris Hero called and said your entrance is too long! When Lazz does finally enter the ring, we see someone else in there, so he did come to do more than just arouse the ringside audience.

-Ken Phoenix vs. Lazz. Some of you may remember Phoenix as one of the guys from a recent "Whiteboy Challenge" on Raw, and Wilson says he's a staple of the New England indies. Referee Speedy Nelson makes the unwise decision to turn his back to Lazz and pat down Phoenix for foreign objects, giving Lazz the chance to cop a feel on his package. Lazz then bends over and volunteers himself for a patdown; Nelson politely declines while Phoenix is freaked out. We start with a collar-and-elbow, Lazz with a waistlock, standing switch by Phoenix- bad idea, as Lazz bends over and drops trau. Phoenix recoils, giving Lazz a chance to scoop him up in a schoolboy for a quick nearfall. Drop toehold by Phoenix and he rides Lazz amateur-style, but Lazz reverses the ground waistlock to one of his own and then changes his attack to give Phoenix some spankin'. Phoenix again scrambles away while Lazz sits in the corner and, uh, adjusts himself. Phoenix goes on the attack, slamming Lazz's head into the buckle and giving him a cross corner whip, but Lazz nips up. Pair of chops by Lazz, then he affectionately kisses Phoenix right on the nipple. Phoenix with another cross-corner whip, but his avalanche attempt only meets a back elbow. Another charge by Phoenix and Lazz gets the boot up, then he tries charging out of the corner but Phoenix meets him with a neat tilt-a-whirl side slam to shift the advantage in the match. Cover by Phoenix and he gets two, then he goes to work with stomps and puts Lazz's head into the buckle. Phoenix with a pair of shoulderblocks in the corner, then he does one of those Triple H-style "I fall down because I whipped you so hard" corner whips. Phoenix pulls Lazz back to his feet and sends him into the corner, then lands a charging forearm. Irish whip by Phoenix, Lazz with a go-behind on the way back, then he lands a gutshot and plants Phoenix with a Fishermanbuster! Lazz follows up with a neckbreaker and covers, but Phoenix gets the shoulder up at two. Corner whip by Lazz and he doffs his shirt. Lazz tries to charge in with the Britney Spear, but Phoenix sidesteps it and then catches Lazz with a superkick as he staggers out of the corner. Cover by Phoenix, one, two, Lazz kicks out. Phoenix drops Lazz across his knee in a backbreaker, then holds it in for a submission as Wildside Continues...

We're back and Phoenix has given up on the backbreaker, opting instead for the more effective strategy of jawing with the crowd before covering for a two count. Whip by Phoenix and he plants Lazz with an Arn Anderson Spinebuster (Wilson: "That's the wrong building to be doing that.") for another two count. Lazz is again pulled to his feet and Phoenix sets him up for an Air Raid Crash, Lazz drops out, Phoenix tries a kick but Lazz catches it and UN FOULs him. Whip by Lazz and he throws Phoenix with a corbata. Phoenix bails to the apron for a breather, not a good move as Lazz sprints up the ropes and clocks him with a nice springboard enzuigiri! Phoenix tries to crawl back into the ring, but Lazz kicks him away and launches himself into a pescado onto Phoenix. Phoenix rolls back in the ring and Lazz grabs a double-leg, the crowd knows what's coming: There's the signature headbutt to the groin! Lazz keeps hold of the double-leg and drops a second headbutt down there, which Wilson dubs "sloppy seconds." Hudson: "I love my wife, I love my wife, I love my wife..." Lazz is in position, ready for the Britney Spear as Phoenix is slow to his feet. Lazz sprints, Britney Spear NO Phoenix tries a clothesline but Lazz tumbles under it, Phoenix checks himself- and turns 'round right into the Britney Spear! Lazz gets the pin (7:15, 72). Lazz celebrates by giving poor Speedy a French kiss (Nelson isn't exactly thrilled). Slow match but it was alright, helped by the crowd heat and the fact that Lazz's gimmick was fresh after almost a year away from it.

-Masada and Drew "the Don" Johnson vs. Onyx and Hotstuff Hernandez. Johnson is a large, anonymous-looking TWA guy. The heels touch fists and Johnson (who is referred to the whole time as "Drew the Don" on commentary) declares that he wants a piece of Hernandez, but it looks like he'll have to settle for Onyx. "O-Nix!" chant is loud and proud. He and Johnson lock up, Johnson backing him into the corner but Onyx ducks a follow-up clothesline and connects with a right hand. Johnson with a whip and he lands the shoulderblock. Johnson off the ropes, drop down and leapfrog by Onyx and he catches Johnson on the way back with an Angry Man's spinebuster! Tag to Hernandez while Johnson makes the tag to Masada. The TWA classmates go face-to-face in center ring and Hernandez lands a slap, Masada fires back with one of his own but Hernandez doesn't move and again throws a slap. Hernandez off the ropes now, trying a shoulderblock but Masada doesn't budge. Now it's Masada coming off the ropes with a shoulderblock- no sale. Hernandez dares Masada to try again and he does, but this time Hernandez evades him with a leapfrog and lands an athletic dropkick on the way back. Masada manages to get Hernandez over in the corner and he laces into him with a pair of hard chops, trying a cross-corner whip but Hernandez reverses and pancakes him with an avalanche. Hernandez lands a *hard* chop and gutshots Masada, going for the Awesomebomb early but Masada drops out and lands a gutshot of his own. Masada trying for a Powerbomb or Piledriver but Hernandez doesn't even move and backdrops Masada with ease, then he grabs Masada in a double-choke and tosses him from there in an impressive overhead suplex! Onyx makes a blind tag, which seems to irritate Hernandez a bit, and he snaps Masada over with a rolling neckbreaker. Masada goes to the eyes to hold off Onyx and he tags in the Don, who drop toeholds Onyx down. Corner whip tried by Onyx but Johnson reverses it and brings him out of the corner with an overhead suplex. Nice delayed suplex by Johnson and he gets a two count out of it, then he straps on a blatant choke. Onyx's head is slammed to the buckle and Johnson makes the tag, Masada working over the fan favorite with stomps and clubbing forearms. Whip by Masada and he tries a clothesline but Onyx ducks, trying a chop on the way back but Onyx ducks that also, then both guys land clotheslines on the other-other way back and we have ourselves a double KO. Wilson takes this time to tell us that Masada has finally named his jumping DVD: It's the "Masadamizer". Both men crawl- tag to Johnson- hot tag to Hernandez! Hernandez is casa en fuego with a forearm for Johnson, lariat for Onyx, lariat for Johnson and then he drops Masada with the Dominator. Masada rolls out as Onyx sneaks in another blind tag, with Hernandez looking even more annoyed this time. Onyx flies off the top with a plancha onto Johnson, then Hernandez goes back to work by folding Johnson up with a big spear. However, Onyx (who is legal, remember) is quick to pick up the pieces and cover Johnson for the pin (5:22, 72). Onyx and Hernandez have words afterwards, but Onyx ends up being able to talk the big man into snapping off a handshake. Not that good of a match but they effectively told the story of Onyx and Hernandez trying to upstage each other. Hernandez's weaknesses are disguised better in tag matches, where he doesn't have to sell as much and dishes out his cool looking power offense. On the heel side, Johnson didn't do much but Masada was very good; I have to agree with fellow recapper Larry Goodman and say that it's about time they did something with Masada. He's over, he's a good worker and a very good heel.

-Rainman and Jason Cross (with Jeff G. Bailey) vs. Jimmy Rave and Jeremy V. Wilson is particularly upset tonight at having to hold the ropes open for Bailey (referee Andrew Thomas gives him an encouraging shove, of course). Rave and V waste no time, storming the ring; Rave hammers away on Cross while V does likewise on Rainman. Rave sends Cross into the ropes and clotheslines him to the floor, and of course V does the same to Rainman. V then lands a dropkick through the ropes onto the NWA Elite members, setting them in perfect position for a Spaceman Plancha from Rave! Rave sends Cross back in and whips him again, gutshot by Rave and he lands a soccer kick, then he gets a full head of steam and clocks Cross with the Trance Rave (non-climbing Shining Wizard)! Rave covers, but Cross is able to kick out at two. Whip by Rave, Cross reverses but that only puts him into position for From Dusk 'til Dawn- Rave takes Cross down, but Cross is able to fight Rave off before he can really lock on the Crossface, then he thumbs Rave in the eye to get him out of the way. Tag to Rainman who also goes after the eyes. Whip attempted, but Rave reverses and he tosses Rainman with an overhead suplex. V sneaks in a free shot of his own and then Jimmy whips Rainman into a hard clothesline. Tag to V and he's fired up, clocking Rainman with another right and taking a swing at Cross as well. Whip by V, but he telegraphs the backdrop and Rainman spins him over with a swinging neckbreaker- and V rolls around clutching his neck. Rainman smirks, since I think he just might have found a body part to target...sure enough, the Soul Assassin tees off with repeated soccer kicks to the neck and he sends Cross in for more damage. Cross gives V a receipt for the shot earlier, then drops him right on that hurt neck twice with a pair of neckbreakers. Cover by Cross, one, two, Rave makes the save late as V is still reeling from the neckbreakers. Chinlock by Cross, then just to be an asshole he plants a knee in the back and cranks away. V fights back, throwing some elbows and breaking the hold but Cross mares him right back down. Rainman hits the ring and Rave objects to it, but all that serves to do is occupy the easily distracted Thomas and allow the doubleteaming to continue.

The Elite continue to target their body part of choice, taking turns with legdrops across the neck: First Rainman does one, then Cross, Rainman, Cross, Rainman off the ropes with another and Cross finishes the sequence with a very nice somersault legdrop off the ropes. Rainman is apparently the legal man now (no tag, but if you're paying attention you'll realize we're telling a story here) and he punches V right in the face, then goes to the back mount and slugs away, five rights, each one right to the back of the neck. Rave again protests, and Thomas again uses this an excuse to turn a blind eye so Bailey can sneak in a choke over the ropes. Rainman stomps V in the spine some more, then tags in Cross. The Role Model pulls V to his feet just so he can floor him with his signature high kick. Whip by Cross but he telegraphs the backdrop, so V catches him with a sharp kick that puts Cross down- and then he too collapses, totally spent from being worked over. V desperately crawls, looking for his corner so he can make the tag but Cross halts his progress with a lightning legdrop (right across the neck, like you needed to ask). Facelock by Cross and he calls for it, here it comes, the BEST BRA- NO, inside cradle by V! One, two, shoulder up by Cross and then a lariat lays V out. Cross with a front facelock, and now he FOLDS V LIKE ORAGAMI WITH THE BEST BRAINBUSTER IN NORTH AMERICA! Good lord, that one would even make Hashimoto cringe. Cross is all smiles as he leans back with an arrogant cover, one, two, Rave again has to make the save. Thomas reprimands Rave for being in the ring illegally while Cross pulls V away in the facelock and tags in Rainman. All it takes is one clubbing forearm by Rainman and V crumbles to his knees. Rainman idly throws forearms but V is fighting back with everything he's got, landing several weak bodyshots but Rainman stops the attempted comeback right in its tracks with a climbing heel kick. Cover by Rainman, but somehow V manages a last-second kickout. Rainman to the front facelock, he probably has an arm under the throat here but it's not like Thomas will force him to break or anything. Amazingly, there's still some fight in V as he inches to the corner- Rave has his hand extended and V reaches- he makes the tag! Ahh, but Thomas was distracted and the tag doesn't count. The crowd buzzes as Rainman pulls V back into the unfriendly corner and tags in Cross. Armwringer by Cross and he does a really cool rolling takedown into a headscissors, cutting off the oxygen while cranking away on the neck. V refuses to give, so Cross twists the headscissors to pin V's shoulders, one, two, V gets a shoulder up so Cross goes right back to the submission, but V hooks his arms around Cross and bridges! One, two, now it's CROSS bridging up and he twists V from there right into a DDT. V lands on his neck yet again and Wildside Continues...

We return to find Cross tagging in Rainman, and he stomps a mudhole in V's neck in the corner. Facelock yet again by Rainman, and this time he turns it into a bodyslam. Rainman to the first rope, he goes for his cool double jump Moonsault (where he lands on the second rope- not buckle- and springboards off with the Moonsault) but V sees it coming and moves out of the way! V is in a bad, bad way but Rainman's also down, so V takes advantage and slooooowly pulls himself up using the ropes. V just gets to his feet when Rainman charges in with a clothesline, but V lands a clothesline of his own at the same time and both are down. The crowd is scorching now, as they can feel the hot tag coming any second now. Thomas puts on a count as Rave is desperate on the outside, banging on the corner to encourage Jeremy to make the tag. V inches, he's almost there but Rainman blocks him and straps on the facelock! Rainman to a cravate but V STILL won't give up, he still reaches...he MAKES THE TAG OHHHH but Thomas was again distracted by a phantom disturbance! Wilson is apopolectic on commentary. Cross heads in and clubs Rave so he spills on the apron, while Rainman has V on his shoulders, and he plants him with the Dark City Street Cutter. Rainman covers and V tries to get the ropes, but he has no gas in the tank and can't move- Rainman picks up the pin, give the assist to junior official Andrew Thomas (10:15, 87). Bailey puts the boots to V after the bell, then he feeds V to Cross, who drops V with the Triple Cross (corkscrew neckbreaker off the second rope)! The Elite keep stomping poor Jeremy down, but Rave's in the ring and he's got an equalizer. Rave swings the chair and the Elite bail. Wilson hits the highlights of next week for us: Iceberg will take on a challenger of both Bailey and Michaels' choosing, Future Shock defend their tag belts, Slim J wrestles Kid Kool, he's Dan Wilson, he's Scott Hudson, see ya next week!

This match was brilliant. Great storytelling, great heat and best of all- it was an original story. How many tag matches since 1980 have had the balls to NOT have a hot tag? I could probably count them on one hand. This match was just expertly laid out so it's almost impossible not to get into it, with everyone playing their role well. Rave was doing his damndest to protect his friend and get revenge for the loss two weeks ago, V was fiery and also out for revenge but he came back too soon and his neck wasn't up to the challenge, Rainman was focused and vicious (using the front facelock as more of a weapon than a resthold) and Cross was as cocky as ever. Of course, Cross is just some athletic kid with no charisma, right Dave? But I digress- this was a tremendous match, right on par with the awesome Young & Mamaluke/Rainman & Iceberg tag from a few months ago and maybe even better because this one totally tweaked the formula. The ending was good as well as it made Rave look like a total big deal; in the past month he's looked less like a 'future star' and more like a current main eventer.

-Kind of a 'blah' show, but that main event redeems it and makes it work. The semi-main was also good for what it was, and you also got a Sal Rinauro segment so you got no right to complain about this week's TV. I'm really impressed with how Wildside continues to put together hot, exciting main events even with the only 'name' talent they have being Iceberg (and maybe Rainman).