|Tales from the Eastside Directory||
NWA Wildside TV (Episode #192)
Tales From the Eastside by Patrick McGovern
-I know, me being timely with the report three weeks in a row was too much to ask.
- I had some stuff to say about the DVDVR 500, but this is coming out late and the 500 came out a little while back so no one really cares at this point, anyway. I will say that Rainman, Sal Rinauro and Jeremy V not being on the list is criminal- especially Rainman, who is definitely a top 50 worker in the world at this point. The Playboyz must not've got to see the Wildside TV from December to March...
-Wildside intro. Is it such a good idea to have Jason Cross missile dropkicking Iceberg as one of your clips when Cross & 'Berg are allies now?
-Steven Prazak leaves us without a funny catchline this week, so we go right to Dan Wilson and last week's highlights, with Dan getting really upset over Jeff G. Bailey's punking out of Rick Michaels. Prazak tells us what we be seein' tonight: Scotty Wrenn is here and probably looking for some revanche against Tank, Slim J and Kid Kool have a return match for the #1 Contendership to the Jr. title and in the main event Rainman defends his World TV title against Onyx!
-Hotstuff Hernandez can talk? Apparently so, as he gets promo time. He says he's happy to have won the NWA North American championship, but he's on to bigger and better things. "Iceberg, I can come at you from the front, I can attack you from behind, or I can do it my favorite way and go right through you. All I want is that title around my waist and your ass on the mat!" A more immature man would make gay references at this point, but I'm a man of class so I'm just gonna move on.
-Andrew Thomas chats on his cel phone to Jeff G. Bailey. Andrew assures his boss that he did his dry cleaning and washed his car (ha!) and this segment gets a million times more awesome as ~Salvatore Rinauro~, petition in hand, enters the frame. Sal talks about how it was a miscarriage of justice that Rick Michaels stripped Thomas of his senior official status, and says that if he signs the petition he'll try to get that position restored. Thomas likes the idea and becomes the first (but surely not the last) to sign Sal's petition, but he also walks off with Rinauro's pen. Short but funny.
-Jason Blackman vs. B.A.D.. JIP, B.A.D. squashing Blackman with an avalanche as I wonder what happened to Taylor Made, B.A.D.'s leathery-skinned valet. Cross-corner whip by B.A.D., crashing into Blackman with a buttsplash. Prazak sounds like he's having some problems with his mic on commentary. B.A.D. shoves ref Speedy Nelson and gives Blackman another close encounter with his ass in the corner. Blackman bails from the ring and B.A.D. follows for some rail abuse, ramming Blackman's head into it and then whipping him into it. B.A.D. gets a chair and responds to the protests of Nelson by piefacing him. B.A.D. swings for the fences but Blackman ducks, he throws some kicks to B.A.D.'s gut but B.A.D. grabs him by the arm and swings him into the ringsteps; Blackman tries to save himself by flipping OVER the stairs but ends up wiping out on the guardrail! B.A.D. rolls Blackman back in the ring and heads to the top floor, leaping off with a flying legdrop but nobody's home. B.A.D. stumbles into the corner and Blackman lays into him with a trio of chops, then he sends him into the opposite corner and follows in with a cartwheel handspring elbow. B.A.D. is in a bad way and now it's Blackman heading to the top, he somersaults off with a reverse Blockbuster and that's enough to get him the pin (6:34- 2:30 aired). Blackman looked good from what was shown and this did a fine job rebuilding him after his total destruction at Iceberg's hands two weeks back. I wonder how Kool feels about yet another one of his moves being adopted by someone else? First AJ Styles takes the Flying Squirrel and kip-up 'rana, then Slim J takes the cradle DDT, now Blackman uses the reverse Blockbuster.
-Dan Wilson is in the ring for the scheduled Slim J/Kid Kool match, but Scotty Wrenn rushes out and Wilson is quick to bail. Give that unstable man the microphone! "Take a hike, jack! I'm out here for one reason: Tank, Tank, TAAAAAANK!" Tank is quick to answer the call, storming the ring and going for a double-leg but Wrenn immediately flips him over, he flails away with punches from the mount while Andrew Thomas runs out; looks like we got ourselves a match...
-Scotty Wrenn vs. Tank. Wrenn beats on Tank with clubbing forearms in the corner, and Tank responds in kind, neither man giving an inch. Tank takes Wrenn down to the mat and slugs away but Wrenn flips him back over and now he's making with the ground n' pound. Both men get to their feet and Wrenn throws more clubbing forearms, but Tank throws five right hands and goes to the eyes for good measure. Tank comes off the ropes, running right into a gutshot from Wrenn and he follows up with a clothesline. Bulldog Raines (kinda) runs out, pummelling Wrenn before he can go after Tank any further (DQ 0:48), and Al Getz is not far behind. Tank and Raines stomp Wrenn down in the corner but some music that hasn't been played in a very long time starts playing, and out from the back runs the most pissed off man in professional wrestling- welcome back, JC Dazz. Looks like Dazz brought a chair with him too, and he clocks Raines in the back, then Tank gets floored with a shot as well. Getz makes some noise in the ring, but he falls on his ass and in the corner. Getz begs off but Wrenn hears none of it, putting a chair in front of his face. Dazz looks ready to charge in with the Dazzinator dropkick, but the Dobbins Brothers pull Getz to safety in the nick of time. Dazz hits a corner to pose while Wrenn gives us a history lesson on the mic: "For those of you that don't know, let me introduce J - C - DAZZ - SCOTTY WRENN - THE B - L - C!" Getz and friends angrily trudge up the ramp while the Boogalou Crew celebrate in the ring. Great angle, extremely heated and executed perfectly: It gave the crowd a taste of the Tank/Wrenn match, bringing back Dazz made things a hell of a lot more interesting and the crowd was molten for the whole thing. This made me care about something involving Team Lardass and Wrenn, something I never thought would happen.
-Future Shock are making their exit in the back of the arena; Bill Behrens interrupts them, asking why they're leaving? Freeze says that Rick Michaels isn't there and they don't have a match, so they're outta here. Ah, but Behrens says they DO have a match, against Cutting Edge (Jacey North & Dagon Briggs)- Future Shock are ambivelent, until Behrens mentions that it's a three-way with the Lost Boys also involved. Freeze and P turn a lot more sour with this announcement, Freeze giving some verbal protests. "How many times do we hafta beat those guys?"
-Dan Wilson is out to do announcements, but he's again interrupted, but this time it's acceptable as it's Salvatore Rinauro (with ROY trophy, Junior Heavyweight title and petition) doing the interrupting. Wilson tells Rinauro he's not going to sign the petition and Rinauro doesn't care. "Good news Dan Wilson, I don't need you to sign it...BALDY!" Rinauro goes on listing his accomplishments, mentioning how he's the most respected man in the lockerroom yet the Phoenix Fury Legdrop is still banned. However, that's not for long, as Sal got 199 signatures on the petition, and he invites NWA Representative Bill Behrens out to be signature #200. Behrens doesn't get music, I thought he had some, oh well. Behrens asks to see the petition- and the mic. "Let's see the names here, you've got Andrew Thomas, Al Getz, Akeem the African Dream (Sal boogies, not unlike Akeem), Randy Mulkey...Randy Mulkey?! (Sal nods), Boo Bradley?, the Gobbledy Gooker? (Sal does a Gooker strut), He-Man? (Sal flexes), Skeletor? (Sal gestures how he brought the forces of good and evil together), now Koko B. Ware (Sal flaps his arms like wings while making bird noises), now that's possible, but I know something's wrong because you've got Frankie here, and Frankie's dead (Sal is shocked and nearly in tears). Now you know how you got that camera crew to follow you around with your petition? Well, what you don't know is we had those cameras follow you EVERYWHERE."
Cut to the Wildside video screen, where we get a view of Sal...on the porcelain throne...with nothing but his Jr. title belt covering him up. "Man, I can't believe only Andrew has signed my petition, how am I gonna get all those names?" Sal grunts- EWW- and has an epiphany. "That's it, THAT'S IT! My move's comin' back, baby!" Sal frantically starts writing down names on his petition...
Back to the ring, where Behrens rebukes Rinauro. "Sal, you've got two signatures, I'm not gonna be the third, or the two hundredth, so you're not gettin' the Phoenix Fury Legdrop back. But Sal, Sal, good news. At the next TV taping, you're gonna defend the title. (Sal gives us a combination of "fear" and "sorrow") So we need to get a match out, so Sal, we're done here. Oh, and Sal, have a good match." Rinauro throws a tantrum all the way to the back. If you don't think Sal is awesome after seeing this segment, I dunno what to tell you. He was absolutely hilarious here, especially when Behrens was reading off the names and he would do an appropriate pantomime. Classic stuff, the only thing even close to being this funny on wrestling TV this year are the Cabana/Steel/Punk car skits in ROH.
-Kid Kool vs. Slim J for the #1 contendership to the Wildside Junior Heavyweight championship. Collar-and-elbow starts us off, J to the side headlock but Kool is able to reverse that into a top wristlock. Kool goes from the wristlock to a front facelock, using that to wear J down to the mat. J tries to roll out of the chancery but Kool rolls with him and maintains the hold. J eventually finds a counter, grabbing the arm and applying a grounded hammerlock. Kool grabs J's arm from there and counters with a wristlock takedown and it's back to the front chancery. Kool twice tries flipping J from there into a pin, and twice he gets a zero count out of it. J tries to counter out into a front chancery of his own, now it's Kool trying the rolling counter, but J learned from before and HE rolls too and we end up with both men having chanceries on each other. J traps Kool's legs and tucks him into an inside cradle for a quick two count, then both men get back to a vertical base. We go again: Collar-and-elbow, J writh a wristlock and he cranks away. Kool throws rights to break the hold but J goes for a hiptoss, Kool counters that with an armdrag going for a pin but J quickly ducks out and applies a front chancery. This is real good stuff, sadly the crowd doesn't seem to agree with me, looking bored. J fights to hang on to the chancery but Kool manages to get to his feet, J converts to a side headlock. Kool throws elbows but J maintains the side headlock, taking Kool over. Kool sloooooowly raises his leg and completes the headscissor counter, J kips up and they stand off. The two slap hands, both guys evenly matched so far. Now they circle and lockup for a third time, Kool backing J into the ropes, they jockey for position and Kool ends up dominating. J gets out of the corner and throws several hard kicks to Kool's side, Kool goes to respond with one of his own but J catches the leg, snatches Kool in a facelock from there and spikes him with the Spliffy Twista! J makes the first proper cover of the match and gets a two count. Snapmare by J and a rolling necksnap earns him another two count. J taking his time to pull Kool up to his feet, giving Kool the opportunity to surprise him with a legsweep and get a two count of his own. J puts Kool back down with a right cross, only for Kool to surprise him again, this time with the kip 'rana. Kool gets another nearfall and he goes up top, looking to end the match early maybe? We'll never know, as J uses the ropes to crotch him and Kool falls to the mat, right into perfect position for J's climbing kick and another nearfall. J pulls Kool to his feet in a front facelock and gives him a big vertical suplex for another nearfall. Bodyslam by J and he heads upstairs, slapping the buckle for good luck. J busts out the Moonsault for the first time in a while, but Kool rolls out of the way and J flops to the mat! J heads to the corner for a breather and Kool sprints in, going for the signature climbing 'rana but J blocks it, looking for a Powerbomb but Kool blocks that and does end up completing the 'rana after all, right into a roll-up, one, two, no. Kool sends J into the ropes and drops down, 'rana on the way back NO J falls back and plants Kool with a Ligerbomb! J hangs on for the cover and gets a two count, then realizes Kool is weakened and gets another two count out of it. J registers frustration as he pulls Kool to his feet, clocking him with a right. Full nelson by J, but Kool does a standing switch- German suplex hold by Kool! One, two, J gets the shoulder up. Kool captures J's leg and looks to cradle him but J wriggles free, wheelbarrows Kool and tosses him with the half-hatch suplex! Kool is seeing stars while J catches his breath, and Wildside Continues...
We return to find both men up to their feet and Kool looking to cradle J again, J switches out and wants a half nelson but Kool reverses it and throws J with a half-hatch suplex! J lands on his neck and Kool covers, but it's only a two count. Kool scoops J up and plants him with the Cradle DDT, another cover, one, two, NO! But that was his move! Kool goes to the top rope, looking for the Flying Squirrel- his success rate with that has been pretty bad lately, and sure enough J rolls to safety before Kool lands. J is the first man to his feet and he lifts Kool on his shoulders, going for Anger Management but Kool hangs on, he throws some rights and tries to tuck J into a victory roll but J simply sits down to block- Kool's shoulders are pinned- one, two, three! (8:53, 81) J gives props to Kool afterwards, but Kool looks really discouraged. This was a fine match, but something appeared to be missing and it wasn't as good as their encounter a few weeks back. This had less headdropping and more solid chain wrestling, yet the crowd was far less into this match and that hurt the excitement level. My main problem is that Slim was too much like your everyday indy undercarder "just happy to be here" babyface, which is annoying unless you're Drake Younger. Slim J isn't meant to smile, shake hands and be a fan favorite; he grabs his dick, laughs at you, kicks you in the head and generally makes you hate him. There's a severe dearth of heels in the junior ranks with Jeremy Lopez in Osaka Pro and Sal Rinauro being the only real rudo, so I think a heel turn from J- maybe about how pissed he is that he has to face Kool every week?- would do wonders. However, I'm nitpicking, as this was the usual good match from this crew and possibly the most technically solid yet.
-Cutting Edge (with Seven) vs. The Lost Boys vs. Future Shock in a nontitle match. I'd like to take this time to welcome the delicious one, Jacey North, back to my recaps; I believe his last appearance was for episode #166, he and Briggs teaming up in a losing effort against the Lost Boys. The three teams stare each other down while the crowd, as you'd expect, amuses themselves with a "Fut-Ure Suck" chant. Freeze taunts Gabriel with a tag title belt before the bell, then after the bell rings he continues to bait him. Azrael replaces his partner in the ring, as it looks like he wants himself a piece of Freeze. Freeze and Azrael go nose-to-nose, Freeze talkin' some mad jive so Azrael slaps the taste out of his mouth. Freeze reponds by bailing from the ring and generously letting Jacey start the match. North and Azrael lock up, Azrael with the side headlock and Jacey sends him into the ropes, only to get predictably shoulderblocked. Azrael off the ropes now, North drops down and leapfrogs Azrael on the way back, Azrael stops himself from hitting the ropes and tries to catch North on the way down with a kick, but North ducks it. North off the ropes now, but he succeeds only in running right into a kick to the mush from Azrael. Chops by Azrael and he tries another whip, North reverses but Azrael nails him in the gut with a savate kick to counter that. North crumbles into the corner, right into perfect position...Azrael gets a full head of steam and goes to take North's face off with a bootscrape, but Jacey moves and scoops Azrael up with a schoolboy! One, two, Azrael rolls out and slaps Brandon P; that's a legal tag in this match. P scoops North up for a bodyslam, but North drops behind in a waistlock and O'Connor rolls P for another quick nearfall. North tries coming off the ropes, P with the drop down and the leapfrog, but my feed cuts out for a second. I (heart) you, WGTW! Looks like we missed very little as I come back to see Briggs being tagged in, and Cutting Edge double up on P with a drop toehold/sliding dropkick combo. P tries an Irish whip but Briggs counters that with an atomic drop, following that up with an inverted atomic drop and a clothesline for a two count. Forward roll slam by Briggs and he tags Jacey back in. North dishes out a bionic elbow (!) and sends P into the ropes, P reverses and Freeze sneaks in a kick to North's back, leaving him open for a leg lariat from P.
Tag to Freeze who makes with the stompery on North, then applies a blatant choke in the corner while baiting Azrael the whole time. Tag back to P who throws so me rights, then whips North into the path of a back elbow, then he follows up with a soccer kick. Whip by P but he telegraphs the backdrop, North up and over with the sunset flip- one, two, P rolls to his feet and flattens Jacey with a lariat. Tag to Freeze who enters making the "how good am I?" pantomime. He clubs North and whips him into a back elbow, then gives Briggs a free shot. Vertical suplex by Freeze and he covers, but North kicks out two. Another vertical suplex, another cover, but this time North needs Azrael to make the save. Freeze pulls North to his feet and laces into him with chops, North fires back with one of his own and connects with several open-hand slaps, but Freeze halts his comeback by going to the eyes. Chop by Freeze and an Irish whip, North ducks a clothesline and ducks an elbow on the way back, then he catches Freeze with a spinning DDT! Both men are down and North looks for a tag from his partner, but P rushes him off the apron- so North goes and tags in Gabriel instead! Gabriel enters and he's fired up, clotheslining Freeze and P down, tries a whip on Freeze, reversal by Freeze but Gabriel reverses that and Freeze runs right into a back elbow for a two count. Irish whip again by Gabriel, Freeze reverses, Gabriel with a flying bodyscissors but Freeze counters that into a backbreaker...and Azrael charges in over his partner to clock Freeze upside the head with a Shining Black! P pulls Gabriel outside and they get in a slugfest with Briggs joining in, while back in the ring Azrael is surprised by North sneaking up behind him and swinging him around in a Golden Gate Spin! Whip by North, Azrael reverses, Freeze pulls Azrael out but North is unphased, sprinting off the ropes and out onto everyone with Dan Wilson's favorite move, the tope penisida! It's a train wreck on the floor with Cutting Edge putting the boots to P and Freeze rolls in, he thinks he's alone but the Lost Boys sneak in behind him, get him up on their shoulders and drop him with the ExCommunicator! Both Lost Boys pile on and Andrew Thomas ignores the illegal man on top AND the illegal man on the bottom, counting the pin (6:49, 77). Well, Thomas HAS been known to bend the rules. This was fine for a TV outing, North showing surprising charisma as a face and Briggs looking much improved. Freeze was the standout here, his constant baiting of the Lost Boys adding to the story of the match. The Lost Boys/Future Shock feud has a lot of possibilities, but they've been involved with each other for a while and need a breakout match somewhere along the lines of their 10/02 TV match to revive things.
-Onyx vs. Rainman (with Jeff G. Bailey) for the World Television championship (Sixth Defense). Rainman covers his ears to block out the offensive "O-Nix" chant. Rainman kicks off the match by throwing several rights, then he lands an uppercut to the gut. Cross-corner whip attempted, Onyx reverses and lifts Rainman into a press, Rainman drops back and goes for the O'Connor roll but Onyx holds the ropes, gutshot by Onyx, going for the Blackout but Rainman UN FOULs him, only for Onyx to rage back and snap him over with a powerslam! Rainman bails and the crowd is louder than ever with the "O-Nix!" chant. Bailey and Rainman discuss strategy, taking a little too long for Onyx's liking so he heads to the floor to speed things up himself. Rainman meets Onyx with a pair of rights and he puts the badmouth on. Bailey also yells at Onyx, leading to Onyx turning 'round and looking like he's gonna smack him. Onyx takes a bit too long glaring at Bailey, though, giving Rainman a chance to sneak up from behind and club him in the back of the neck. Onyx is rolled back in and Rainman measures him for a punch in the corner. Cross-corner whip by Rainman, Onyx nips up, Rainman tries a clothesline but Onyx does a split (!!) to avoid it, then tries a clothesline of his own which Rainman ducks, only to get tossed to the floor. Onyx follows Rainman out to the floor and works him over, slamming his head into the announce stage then whipping him into the guardrail. Rainman gets his head slammed into the apron and he's rolled back in, where Onyx covers for a nearfall. Whip by Onyx but he telegraphs the backdrop, so Rainman kicks him in the head and follows with the climbing heel kick for a nearfall. Onyx is rolled onto his back and Rainman lifts him into a back suplex from there for a nearfall. Onyx gets pulled to his feet, only to get sent back down with a right. Onyx is shoved into the corner and Rainman pounds him with a pair of upperguts, whip to the opposite corner but Onyx counters the avalanche with a Gibson roll for two, Rainman flipping that over into a jackknife pin for a two count of his own. Both men roll to their feet and Onyx tries a clothesline, but Rainman ducks that and catches Onyx in the face with his signature corkscrew dropkick. Rainman covers, sticking a forearm right in Onyx's throat but it only gets two. Snap suplex nets Rainman a second nearfall. Rainman works a blatant choke but Onyx fires back with a bodyshot, only for Rainman to throw him back down and land a legdrop before covering for a third two count. Onyx is pulled up again but he fights back with bodyshots, Rainman countering those with a clubbing forarm to put Onyx back down. Rainman goes upstairs, leaping off with a double axehandle but double axehandles off the top almost never work in this day and age, so Onyx catches Rainman and drives him down with an angry man's spinebuster! "The champion is down, can the challenger make the cover?" Well, Dan, we're gonna have to wait to find out, because Wildside Continues...
Looks like referee Speedy Nelson has been counting all through the break, as he's up to eight when we get back as both men rise to their feet. Rainman with a right, Onyx responds with a chop, Rainman, Onyx with another chop and he follows with two more, then he whips Rainman right into a back elbow. Onyx yells for Rainman to get up, and when he does Onyx plows him over with a lariat. Quebradora by Onyx and he covers, but Rainman kicks out in time. Whip attempted by Onyx, Rainman reverses and..."SPIIIIIIIIIINE SPLIIIIITTA". Now it's Rainman making the cover, and Onyx gets the shoulder up at two point five. Chop by Rainman and another whip, looking for the Spine Splitta again but Onyx reverses to a 'rana! Swift cover by Onyx but Rainman again kicks out before three. Onyx pulls Rainman up but the Soul Assassin goes to the eyes for an advantage. Rainman piggybacks Onyx, looking for the Dark City Street Cutter but Rainman drops out and spins Rainman with the Blackout OHHH but Rainman's legs clipped Nelson on the way down! Iceberg is out to run interference but Hotstuff Hernandez sprints in from the crowd with a chair to hold him off. Rainman covers and Nelson comes to...and calls for the bell? (8:25, 71) Seems like Nelson saw himself and Rainman down and saw Hernandez in the ring with a chair, and put two and two together to call for the DQ. Onyx and Hernandez exchange harsh words, now David Young makes his way out to try and nogotiate peace, but it looks like he's not having any luck. Bailey and Iceberg look on from the rampway and they like what they see; that's the note we're gonna close on this week.
-This seemed pretty average when I watched it live, but looking back it wasn't a bad hour of TV at all. The Sal Rinauro stuff, as usual, was hilariously great, and Kool/J & Cutting Edge/Lost Boys/Future Shock were fine for TV matches. Can't forget the Boogalou Crew angle, bringing back one of the more popular tag teams in Wildside history to improve what was looking like a pretty dreary angle. The main wasn't too good mainly because Onyx's offense isn't that good and it wasn't Rainman's best performance, but it was still watchable. The uppercard has been kinda uninteresting lately, and you have to wonder that since he's healthy, why doesn't Hernandez go and claim his title shot already?
TPI Night 2 review is almost done, so look for that and a new Eastside Spotlight (remember those?) around Sunday-ish. Until then...